It really is the sweetest of things to see: Maggie discover all the goodness that is my dad. As a child, I thought my dad knew everything. He can answer the simplest of questions, as well as the most confusing and hard-to-wrap-your-brain-around ones. He also always seems to be able to fix anything that is broken, and not only is he handy with the duct tape, but he’s been known to use a tool or two. Growing up, he claimed to know one of my favorite book characters, Babar. My brother and I would fall asleep listening to him tell tales of Babar showing up on the job site or using trees to ski.
When I think about parenting and the way that I was raised, one thing that comes to mind is that I never, ever felt like I was in the way. If my mom was involved in the kitchen or her garden, I was always invited to slice, scoop and follow along. Same with my dad. He’d always include us in his workouts, projects around the house and had chores if we got ‘bored.’ I can remember sitting on his back as he did push-ups and him tirelessly teaching me to fold the jump rope in half so I could do high jumps with him.
He even included me in shaving, letting me put shaving cream on my face and use a butter knife to peel it away. Another example is how my friends and I would dress up in my mom’s clothes and adopt personas and go hunt down my dad wherever he was on our land, knee deep in a project related to building our house. (If my memory serves correctly, we had really creative names like “Candy” and “Sandy”) He’d always greet us as if we were visiting from a far off land and ask us a million questions about our travels, our lives and even our funny accents. As a kid, I thought we were so very clever. As an adult, I wonder how annoying we were. There are countless inside jokes between the two of us that only he would understand (Ray-Tay-Kay-Pay-Are or why the kitchen light looks weird….).
My parents had us when they were very young and they had lives beyond raising children – work, building a house from scratch, etc. Chances are, they weren’t always patient, and I do have some of those memories as well, but most of all I remember my mom and dad both being extremely present in my life. Always.
Seeing my parents as grandparents is nothing short of delightful. Practically from the start, Maggie has been enamored with my mom and is her ultimate helper when we go to visit. I nearly become invisible when my mom comes around. Maggie has always loved all her grandparents, but lately she’s discovered my dad and it is utterly heart warming. A few weeks ago when we went to visit, they spent hours on the back porch hammock chatting, eating chips, reading, singing, and even snoozing. They also discovered Bill the Butterfly – a fictitious butterfly that is now their version of Babar and Ray-Tay-Kay-Pay-Are. I know that my dad could have shooed Mags away and taken his own nap or read his own book, but he, just as he did all those times with me, chose to spend time indulging Maggie in some one-on-one time.
And I know the list will continue to grow of events, jokes, and special moments between Maggie and my dad. Because even as an adult, my dad and I are still cultivating inside jokes and sharing special moments. If something needs fixing or I have a complex question to answer, I often turn to him. Because I know he’ll always make time.
