I love it, but then I hate it too. The snow just isn’t giving up and I’m no longer thinking that we need to move to Montana because I’m pretty certain that there is more snow there than the twiddly amount I can see out my front door. I haven’t driven in almost a week because last year when I drove in the snow/ice I eneded up running into a pickup truck stopped in front of me. I had Maggie in the car and it was pretty scary, even though we were all fine.

That has meant that when I have the urge to strap Maggie into her car seat and skate over to somebody’s house, I decided that the backyard will do just fine and if we’re really crazy a walk around the neighborhood. I hate feeling like such a weather wimp. Then I remember that the news said it might be “impossible” for people to drive and that anywhere I could go is wholly unnecessary. So we’ve stayed home and I’m learning to embrace it.

Chaya came to visit the other day and we’ve dug out most of the Christmas presents that got stashed away for a day just like today. Tomorrow we’ll probably set up the basketball hoop from Greg and Linda, that’ll entertain us for who knows how long. Maggie doesn’t seem to mind being home…heck, she probably has a better deal out of it because she gets some one-on-one time in a major way without the distraction of a trip to the grocery store or other errands.  (That said, Maggie’s story time and music class we started with Caroline & Thomas are things I’d rather she didn’t miss.)

Cora gave Maggie a bunch of stamps for Christmas and we were able to use them and Maggie fell in love with pushing them onto the paper. The girl has a knack for making sure the ink gets pushed onto the paper, check out her face! I had a very hard time containing my laughter and by the time Chaya came over Maggie was practically a stamping expert. If you need anything stamped, Maggie’s your girl.

Besides stamping, Maggie has been assisting Barry in various tasks outside…..like wiping snow off the car I never drive and hitting snow off the bamboo that I hate with a stick. Yesterday we spent far too much time outside making a movie about Barry hitting snow off a tree in our backyard. In a strange way I hope you get to see it, but it probably wouldn’t make your life any better if you do.

So we’re surviving the big snow of 2012. I was informed today by Maggie to be quiet (imagine her curly head and index finger like a librarian shuuuushing me) because her baby was sleeping. I had to laugh because I totally get it, the need to be quiet when you’ve finally got your babe to sleep. Mags is such a good mama to her babies, I keep finding them swaddled around the house and earlier today I found one of her babies “reading” a book that Maggie had propped up.

I love it. I hate it. The snow really is beautiful and we’re fortunate enough to have a warm, warm home and lots to entertain us while we watch the flaky whiteness fall from the sky. I love the taste of fresh snow. I love the sound of snow….or the way it makes me really listen. I’m not going to make a list of what I hate about the snow, but I will say this: I’ll be glad when the roads clear up.

I miss writing, but there just hasn’t been time to jot down anything lately.

Instead of writing anything of much worth, I’ll just post a picture of Maggie that I took one year ago.

Such a cute little chub, right?

And that is about all for right now.

More later.

Maybe.

Boo.

We took Maggie and Sydney on a little bit of a hike today and it was fun to be nearly the only people on the trail because it was a bit rainy and apparently everyone else was busy watching football. On the way  down Maggie was a trooper and was happy to yell orders from the backpack, but eventually she wanted down. On the way back up, she was happy to trudge along and wear Barry’s hat.

Barry was trying to take a few pictures of us and Maggie suddenly became really interested in the camera….so she allowed her to take a few shots. I’d like to think that she was going more for the artistic angle on the one of me above. That’s my girl, right? We eventually made it to the beach and took an awkward family picture with the self-timer.

We went through a tunnel and Sydney did some sprints on the beach….and then the most awful thing in the whole universe happened. (okay, maybe not the universe, but MY universe today)

My camera fell into the sand while the self-timer was on.

This is the final shot: (ignore the double chin, thanks)

I’m pretty sure my camera will survive, but as I told Barry a piece of my heart broke off when it happened. He said he was shocked that I didn’t dive to catch the camera as it fell off the log it was perched on.

He’s right, I should have dove head first as if I were catching a football for a touchdown.

Dang.

Then I could have done a touchdown dance instead of deciding never, ever to take my camera to the beach again.

Double Dang.

Like lately I’ve needed that swift kick in the toosh because I’ve become a worry-wart about the future of this motherhood thing I’ve been doing. Shouldn’t I be gearing up to go back to school? Shouldn’t I be freaking out about my old job? Lots of mothers work, why can’t I?

My ears burn at comments made about working mothers and I have internal battles with myself about what that term really means. Working mothers. Aren’t all mothers working in some capacity? Does collecting a paycheck really make a better mother? Does not collecting a paycheck really make a better mother? Aren’t all mothers working to better their family?

When I cozy up to Mamalode and paw through the pages, I again am able to align myself and figure “it” out for a quick second. Someday I’ll probably be a mother that collects a paycheck.

And that’s fine.

Right now I’m not that mother.

I get to stay home.

I am that mother.

Just like the seasons of the year, this too will eventually change. It works for our family right now. This doesn’t mean that I don’t miss teaching because I do. Dearly. But for this next year I am again choosing a different path and my version of working doesn’t involve a paycheck.

As my internal battle rages on about under-appreciated paycheck-collecting mothers and non-paycheck-collecting mothers alike, please know that I’m getting paid in full by sloppy smooches from my littlest worker. This makes all things right in my world.

And for now I’m happy to be that mother.

Last week we met up with Charlyn, Beth and their kids at the zoo on a rainy day and I thought we were all pretty cool for being there when the weather was so nasty. We donned rain jackets, sweatshirts and Beth’s kids busted out their umbrellas. We were living the Pacific Northwest Dream, raindrops and all. It was a fantastic day and Maggie enjoyed seeing all the different animals that we’ve been reading about. There were no complaints about the weather and we all enjoyed following the lead of the older boys, who were in charge of the map.

This picture is from the HB archives, the scooter did not come with us to the zoo and the warm weather didn't either. Just the cute, cute kids.

I started this week out with a bit more hope about the weather and we spent some time outside Monday while visiting Caroline & the rest of the crew for a couple hours. We even had a picnic dinner outside in our yard and scrubbed out the Sandy Lagoon thinking that surely the weather will become SCORCHING anytime now because 40 other states are melting in the heat. MELTING.

We’re not melting. Not even close. I keep looking at the popsicles in my freezer and think that it is just too dang cold to enjoy a popsicle in JULY.  I’m no longer proud about going out in the rain and doing stuff. Instead I’m grumpy about doing activities inside that I thought I’d reserve for special Fall and Winter days.  Maggie inherited a play kitchen from the Merks (as Barry calls them) and has been happy enough to do some work from time to time. I’ve found her in there a few times busily stacking cups and plates; however, I also found her in the bathroom unraveling the toilet paper, so I’m pretty sure she is starting to get stir-crazy too.

Short of writing a whole post complaining about our lack of sun, I’m feeling a little lackluster in the word department lately.  Maybe I’m feeling this way due in part to the fact that I’m wearing a FREAKING DOWN VEST and if my calendar is correct it says JUNE.  Within a span of two days, Maggie went from streaking nudie around our yard to needing to be fully clothed in a sweater to brave the outdoors.  Seriously.

At least we’ve got some great inside jokes that don’t really ever die. Like the basket on Maggie’s head seems to always be a good one and she has fallen in love with having a little bowl of snacks set up so that she can wander around return to her snack station when needed. Sydney loves it too.  Also, Maggie has discovered all the goodness that my make-up drawer holds. Thankfully she hasn’t figured out how to roll the lipstick up yet…

We’ve had a ton of visitors, but my camera never seems to document our friends and family as much as it should, they’re all beautiful.  Just today Chach and I went and walked around U. Village just for the sake of doing something.  Maggie was in a stellar mood until we meandered into a candy store and she wanted to touch everything and insisted on no longer being carried.  Does she even know what candy is? I think it might have been my first experience of just walking out of a store with a screaming child.

It seems like The Morsels (Sydney and Maggie) are two of a kind lately, chasing, squealing, sharing toys; however trying to get Sydney to go outside when the weather is anything but perfect is a battle, she loves to stay in bed and snore. Sometimes it can be funny and quite enearing, but sometimes it shocks me what a weather wimp she can be. Aside from wanting to be in bed  all day, I think I get where she’s coming from.

Anytime now, Summer, Anytime.

Tonight I decided that I’d had enough with Maggie’s high chair. I stripped it down, threw the cover in the wash, the trays in the dishwasher and the entire frame outside to hopefully be washed clean by the rain. I fear that nothing short of a monsoon will clean that dang thing, however. It’s amazing how all the little crevices fill with particles of food; grody, gross, gross! No matter how many times I wipe it down it seems to become more and more disgusting.

Today Krista and Will came to visit (more on that another day) and she commented that the space under Will’s chair at their home is called Will’s Compost Pile. I think I might steal that term and add it to a few places around our house, minus Will’s name, of course. Graham crackers, cheese bits, avocado, mango, pears, bread and whatever else Maggie eats has shown up in the strangest of places.

Somebody recently asked me what lotion I was wearing, and I wondered to myself it it might just be the smell of animal crackers that permeates from my being these days. Is it possible? Hippies smell like patchouli and I smell like animal crackers.

If digging food out of strange places and smelling like animal crackers makes you a mother, I think I’ve made it.

I am officially a mother.

It seems like with my photography I am always on the lookout for the best light and the best angle to capture the shot. I find myself thinking about light a lot and end up kicking myself when an opportunity knocks and I’ve left my camera to gather dust somewhere. I try to never use my flash and rely on natural light to get the job done and am  grateful for our house that has big windows and tons of natural light.

I’ve been stretching my runs longer, and I’ve found myself weaving through neighborhoods that I never knew existed and I’ve noticed one commonality: people keep their blinds shut ALL the time. As a photographer, it pains me to see how closed off to light people are, but as a person I can’t help but think what living in a dark, dark place does for one’s outlook on life. I determined that not only am I in search of light to better my pictures, but also to better other aspects of my life: lighter thinking, lighter weight, lighter teeth (seriously!), lighter-minded friends, and lighter/brighter days.

We got rid of all of our blinds a while ago, they’re sitting in the garage and will most likely find a new home at Value Village. Our bedrooms have blinds that we close at night and open first thing in the morning, we’re lucky enough to not have neighbors that live thisclose to us, but even if we did I’d still open my blinds to let the light in.

I hope you’re able to search for the best light today.

The last few days around here have been rough. Maggie had been sick, but it looks like she is in full recovery mode now. Having a child that is sick is the absolute worst thing in the world. I don’t think I’ve felt so helpless in my life and I don’t look forward to the next time we have to go down that road.

Last night her fever peaked at 103 and both Barry and I nearly had a panic attack, but thankfully she responded quickly to the Tylenol and she had her first solidish night of sleep in a few days. I took her to the doctor yesterday, but aside from what we were already doing, there wasn’t much more to be done.

I haven’t wanted to write about her being sick because it was really heartbreaking – the sparkle was missing from her eyes and her energy level was at zero. But this morning she popped up and promptly started waving at us and before we knew it she was making hot laps up and down the hallway with her Radio Flyer push cart.

We had to cancel on a few people today (sorry, Tamara, Cole & Larry!) and we didn’t make it to the library for storytime, but Maggie has been using her sparkle all around the house today and I’m sure by tomorrow we’ll be fully recovered. Never have I been so happy for the Naptime Battle.

I know that when I was sick as a kid the only thing that truly made me feel better was my parents, not even the “I’m Sick”  7 – Up cheered me up. We certainly weren’t giving Mags 7-Up yesterday, but it was clear that she just wanted to be held by us, and so we held her knowing that a little TLC can go a long, long way.

To health!!

I’ve got a huge red splotch on my nose from a bite-kiss that Maggie planted on me the other day. I knew that she got me pretty good, but when I woke up yesterday I was shocked to see the damage that she did. It kind of looks like a zit, but having a zit on the bridge of my nose isn’t exactly my idea of a dream. So it goes, right?

Things could certainly be worse, but they’re not. I came upon Maggie and Barry having a quiet moment the other morning and I about melted into a puddle because it was so cute. Maggie takes a while to wake up and they were having a quiet conversation about the upcoming events in our day….one of which happened to be the death of The Old Speed Queen.

Yep, our dryer broke. Maybe Maggie knew it was going to happen and was trying to prevent anymore dirty clothes from needing to be washed; none the less, we’re waiting until next weekend to get a new one because apparently there is a HUGE warehouse sale that we MUST attend, according to the sales guy. I figure if the sales guy is telling us to wait for the HUGE sale, we better check it out.

Either way, our laundry pile is growing, but so is the bite mark on my nose…maybe it is a zit after all.